Taking Back Your Power - “I’m not a victim.”

Someone can survive a lifetime of shifting abuse and still decide, with full conviction, “I’m not a victim.” We read an anonymous story that starts with sudden loss, moves through the quiet damage of narcissistic parenting, and then collides with adult betrayal, divorce, and a terrifying dating assault involving being date-rigged. It is heavy, honest, and grounded in the belief that what happened will never define you.

Along the way, I pause to define narcissism clearly because so many of us grow up in unsafe dynamics without the language to explain gaslighting, emotional manipulation, entitlement, and the absence of empathy. We talk about how these patterns can echo later in relationships and why that still does not mean you caused it. Awareness is not just insight; it is the first real tool for breaking the cycle.

We also dig into what healing can look like in real life: trauma recovery through professional therapy, personal development, consistency, and the daily work of rebuilding trust in yourself. We explore boundaries, support systems, and the empowering truth that there is no single “correct” identity word after abuse some claim victim, some survivor, some warrior, and all of it is valid when it helps you take your voice back.

If this resonates, listen, share it with someone who needs to feel less alone, and please subscribe and leave a review so more survivors can find these stories.

I hope you'll come back again,
anonymous stories submitted through the Google Forms in my bio or the show notes
Google Forms:  https://forms.gle/ZtcURWeMqHUGjfhH8

Transcript

Welcome And Trigger Warning

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Welcome to Feel Heal Rise Stories After Silence, where we give a voice to the unheard, speak the unspoken, and remind you that you are not alone, and what happens to you will never define you. I'm Erica Blake, and this is a podcast where I read real anonymous stories of abuse, survival, and healing. I'm gonna give a trigger warning for today's episode. Today's episode includes emotional, sexual, psychological, relationship, and narcissistic abuse. If you're not currently in a place to hear this right now, that's okay. Take care of yourself and feel free to return later. Having said that, let's get into today's submission. My loving father died suddenly when I was 12 years old. So I was raised by my mother, who is a narcissist. At the time I didn't understand it. I just knew that something didn't feel emotionally safe. I only learned the term recently. I'm now a grown woman and

Losing A Father And Living With Narcissism

SPEAKER_00 1:09

I have started to understand the patterns more clearly. After going through a difficult divorce with my now ex-husband, who cheated on me on multiple occasions, I started to have health challenges pop up. And because of shared custody in California and medical care being so expensive, I ended up moving back in with my mom. Back to the same environment I grew up in. With the same dynamics, and there are still patterns of gaslighting, emotional manipulation, and narcissistic tendencies. I'm gonna do a quick pause, real quick, and give you all the definition of a narcissist just so we know it. A narcissist is defined by a deep-seated pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.

What Narcissistic Abuse Looks Like

SPEAKER_00 1:51

They often display extreme selfishness, entitlement, and manipulation to protect a fragile ego. Relationships with them are often challenging due to manipulation, gaslighting, and a tendency to blame others, often leading to emotional abuse. Alrighty, let's continue. On January of this year, which is 2026, I started dating a guy, and I made it very clear that I wanted to wait to have sex. On what ended up being our fifth date, I ended up in a position where I blacked out on and off. During that time, he date rigged

Dating Assault And Choosing Survivor

SPEAKER_00 2:25

me. I did press charges, the case is still ongoing through the legal process. But I want to be very clear about this. I'm not a victim. I see myself as somebody who survived. I see myself as a warrior. I will rise and I will never give up. Professional therapy, personal development, and consistency is what helped me start my healing journey. Healing and starting the road to the ability to really live life again with inner peace and emotional health. I was dealing with anxiety, panic, anger, depression, and a loss of trust. I had support for my family with my divorce, but the rest was trickier. I'm surviving and rebuilding. If you're going through something similar, don't give your power away to others. If they steal it once, after that, don't give them anything extra. When you survive, you thrive. You win. Listen to your instincts. Remember that it's your life. Share your story. It's empowering when you get to such a healthy place that you don't care what anybody thinks or says anymore. It's worth the challenging journey of healing. I promise. Life can strike hard at any time, but it's not about what happens. What counts is how you deal with it. I'm sharing my story so that I can help others. And we really, really appreciate you sharing your story with us. There are a few things that stood out to me in this submission. One is how abuse can show up in different forms throughout our life. Sometimes we grow up in unhealthy environments without having the language to describe what we're experiencing. Then later we may find ourselves

Breaking Cycles Through Awareness

SPEAKER_00 3:52

facing similar patterns in relationships, friendships, or other areas of our life. That does not mean that we caused it. And it doesn't mean that we're destined to repeat it forever, I promise. Awareness is often the first step of changing the cycle. Another thing that stood out to me was the strength that it took her to keep moving forward. Like she's so much strength to be able to keep going after all that betrayal and trauma. Healing is not about pretending that something didn't happen. It's about learning to carry your story and instead of letting it bring you down and control you, letting it exist and not control you. It's about rebuilding your trust in yourself, finding support, setting boundaries, and choosing yourself over and over and over again and learning how to choose yourself and that that's okay. Survivors don't all heal the same way. Some people identify with the word victim. Others identify with the word survivor. Some with warrior. There's no right or wrong way to describe who you are or how you feel when it comes to abuse and what's happened to you. Your experience is your own and you're allowed to feel however you want to feel. There is no right or wrong. What matters is finding the words to give yourself your voice back. We can't change the world. We can't change what happens to us. But we can change how we react to it and what we do about it. To the person who shared the story, I just want to say thank you for reminding us that healing is possible, even whenever the road may be really long. Your courage and willingness to speak up and your determination to keep going will undoubtedly, absolutely, help other people. And I hope that it helps somebody listening today. Remember, one step at a time is progress. Let's take a deep breath to let anything that we are still holding on to go. We do not have to process everything right now. We're gonna take a deep breath in and out.

Breath, Grounding, And Invitation To Share

SPEAKER_00 5:59

Okay, thank you for listening. And thank you to the person who wrote this. You took your time to share your story, and I want to thank you for trusting me with it. I think we can all learn a thing or two from your positivity. It's truly inspiring to witness somebody's strength in the middle of something so heavy. And to anyone listening who feels seen in this, you're not alone, and your power is still yours to take back. Take it easy on yourself tonight. If you'd like to share your own story, you could submit it through the link in my bio or the show notes. We'll talk again soon. Thank you for listening to Heal, Feel, Rise Stories After Silence. And remember, you're not alone, and what happens to you will never define you. Until next time.